The Begginning Of The End ... Of My Twenties!
29. The last year of my twenties.
God, how has it all flown by so quickly?
I say that as though it's all been a big blur of events that have just been too fabulous to enjoy. This, of course, is not the case. In fact there have been many moments in my life that have seemed to go on forever. Moments that I've wished would just hurry up and end so that I could go on with my life. Moments when I've felt more an old man in my 60's then a young one in his 20's. But when it comes down to it, the realization that in one more year I'll be entering my 30's seems just unfathomable to me.
So many questions flood through my mind. Have I done everything I wanted to do with my life up until this point? (No, of course not!) Does getting older mean getting more responsible? (Only time will tell I suppose.) Is who I am really affected so much by a number? A year? A chronological fact?
I was depressed in the days leading up to my actual birthday. I'd tried to throw a last minute party the preceeding Saturday, which almost no one could attend. I usually tend to try to put so much focus on celebrating my birthday that I sometimes forget to do any real soul searching or personal growth that might actually help make the passing of a year more of a positive thing.
My birthday fell on a Tuesday this year, and as midnight rolled around that Monday night, I was on the phone with Jamie chatting away. He was the first to wish me a Happy Birthday, and a four hour conversation proceeded. Somehow between midnight and 4am, when I finally got off the phone, my entire perspective on my birthday had changed. I'd thought a lot about how far i'd come since my last birthday.
Last year I had been living in Maine, and I came up to New York and celebrated with some friends at the Duplex. My friend Kristina had asked me "So when are you finally moving back to the city?"
"Soon." I had replied.
"Oh please. You've been saying that for years!" I remember my friend Samara teasing.
And it was in that moment that I realized there wasn't anything holding me back anymore. That it was time to move forward. I realized that night that I wanted to be living in New York again before my next birthday rolled around.
So, as I turn age 29, the final year of my 20's I find myself perhaps not everywhere I thought I would be by now. But I'm getting there. I'm taking the steps and doing the work. In my time, certainly. Baby steps somedays, and great leaps and bounds other days. But i'm taking those steps.
In the year that's passed since my 28'th birthday, I've achieved a lot for myself. For the last year of my 20's I expect to achieve a lot more, and perhaps to sew any remaining wild oats and gear up for something that I find to be almost as exciting as it is terrifying: my 30's.
I'm not ready for them yet, but I've got a whole year to get ready!
Bring it on!
God, how has it all flown by so quickly?
I say that as though it's all been a big blur of events that have just been too fabulous to enjoy. This, of course, is not the case. In fact there have been many moments in my life that have seemed to go on forever. Moments that I've wished would just hurry up and end so that I could go on with my life. Moments when I've felt more an old man in my 60's then a young one in his 20's. But when it comes down to it, the realization that in one more year I'll be entering my 30's seems just unfathomable to me.
So many questions flood through my mind. Have I done everything I wanted to do with my life up until this point? (No, of course not!) Does getting older mean getting more responsible? (Only time will tell I suppose.) Is who I am really affected so much by a number? A year? A chronological fact?
I was depressed in the days leading up to my actual birthday. I'd tried to throw a last minute party the preceeding Saturday, which almost no one could attend. I usually tend to try to put so much focus on celebrating my birthday that I sometimes forget to do any real soul searching or personal growth that might actually help make the passing of a year more of a positive thing.
My birthday fell on a Tuesday this year, and as midnight rolled around that Monday night, I was on the phone with Jamie chatting away. He was the first to wish me a Happy Birthday, and a four hour conversation proceeded. Somehow between midnight and 4am, when I finally got off the phone, my entire perspective on my birthday had changed. I'd thought a lot about how far i'd come since my last birthday.
Last year I had been living in Maine, and I came up to New York and celebrated with some friends at the Duplex. My friend Kristina had asked me "So when are you finally moving back to the city?"
"Soon." I had replied.
"Oh please. You've been saying that for years!" I remember my friend Samara teasing.
And it was in that moment that I realized there wasn't anything holding me back anymore. That it was time to move forward. I realized that night that I wanted to be living in New York again before my next birthday rolled around.
So, as I turn age 29, the final year of my 20's I find myself perhaps not everywhere I thought I would be by now. But I'm getting there. I'm taking the steps and doing the work. In my time, certainly. Baby steps somedays, and great leaps and bounds other days. But i'm taking those steps.
In the year that's passed since my 28'th birthday, I've achieved a lot for myself. For the last year of my 20's I expect to achieve a lot more, and perhaps to sew any remaining wild oats and gear up for something that I find to be almost as exciting as it is terrifying: my 30's.
I'm not ready for them yet, but I've got a whole year to get ready!
Bring it on!
posted by Kevin at 5:40 PM
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